Is selflessness possible

We’re ego and soul, and yin and yang, opposite forces, characteristic of duality, struggle inside us.

One of the most compelling challenges in my spiritual life has been to really understand the motives underlying my own feelings and actions. One of my teachers said a long time ago that a healer’s actions need to be motivated by what he called “pure intentions.” However, since subconscious forces drive us, how do we know what our real intentions are at any given moment?

For example, the most generous gestures could be driven by the need to please others or to be loved. An action could give us stature to the eyes of others but only our inner core would know how many pints of selfishness our generosity hid.

But this is not a new dilemma for me.

At 15, I was already a snob philosopher who could swear with no shame that she understood Socrates pretty well. Plato’s writings got me thinking about the essence of life, about beauty and goodness and I pondered what would be the best way for me to achieve some kind of utter kindness, selflessness, integrity… only to come to the conclusion that achieving this utopic perfection would on itself be tremendously self serving because I’d be striving for it basically to feel good about myself.

So, is selflessness really possible?

I follow the great egalitarian philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau in that man is born good but the pernicious influence of human society and institutions corrupts them. I also believe with Daoists that we are born with wisdom, trust, faith, love, peace and joy and life experiences makes us learn anger, grief, fear, mistrust, resentment.

But be what it may be, we’re still made of ego and soul, and yin and yang, opposite forces, characteristic of duality, struggle inside us.

Maybe our life is about bringing light into our darkest places inside. Maybe it’s about increasing our awareness of our true essence. Maybe enlightenment is this consciousness of our wholeness, which is made of contradictions, about keeping a constant awareness of our oneness in the midst of our perception of division and differences.

The question then is not if selflessness is possible but if we could increase awareness of our interconnectedness.

Disconnected from the other

The main point about civility is…the ability to interact with strangers without holding their strangeness against them and without pressing them to surrender it or to renounce some or all the traits that have made them strangers in the first place.

—Zygmunt Bauman

The media constantly inform us about acts of terrorism, wars, people displaced by violence, refugees, famines, natural calamities, human and drug trafficking, mass lay-offs, corporations that sink overnight or merge to form larger and frighteningly powerful entities. All of these are symptoms and consequences of our disconnection as humanity.

In January 2018, the prime minister of the United Kingdom, Teresa May, created a new position, a Ministry of Loneliness. More than nine million people in the UK suffer, either occasionally or permanently, from loneliness, according to a report published by the Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness. And loneliness seems, more than anything, the product of our inability to connect with others.

We’re not only isolating ourselves, we’re regrouping.

Armed with recent demographics, journalist Bill Bishop published The Big Sort:Why the Clustering of Like-Minded America Is Tearing Us Apart. (First Mariner Books, 2009). When he looked at the electoral results of the last thirty years, he observed that Americans have grouped by class, skin color, and beliefs in increasingly homogeneous communities. This has happened not only at the region or state level, but by city and even neighborhood. His data has been confirmed by other reporters, such as Corey Lang and Shanna Pearson-Merkowitz of the UK,[1] who also predict that this tendency toward segregation will be generalized along party lines. People are choosing neighborhoods (and churches and news programs) that are compatible with their lifestyles and beliefs. This type of grouping prevents the new generations from being exposed to different opinions and views of the world. The phenomenon is happening throughout the nation. For example, in rural West Texas, a fifty-acre community development  (Paulsville) was created in 2008 to provide homes exclusively for followers of then libertarian presidential candidate Ron Paul.

Bill Bishop suggests that the outcome of this trend has been a notoriously dangerous polarization of the population, a decline in tolerance, and an increase in extremism.

Facebook designs algorithms that select what’s displayed in my wall and shown to my friends and family. Other algorithms will get me to see more posts from people who think like me and fewer from those who have different opinions, or more personal comments and pictures, than any political news I’d like to share. My followers and the people who like or click on my posts back my opinions, but my posts rarely reach those who think differently. The balkanization of social media or splinternet––meant to block, filter, or redirect certain topics––causes us to live in separate microcosms, with narrower visions. It denies us the opportunity of enriching ourselves with differing ways of seeing the world. It has become a political instrument to perpetuate power in the hands of a few.

In a sociopolitical climate of constant change, corruption in the highest spheres, mutual distrust, and unrelenting competition, we feel easily judged, criticized, and excluded. This also constitutes an obstacle when trying to connect with others. I distrust others because I suspect they want what I have (my money, my partner, my position at work, my influence). Since others have abused me in the past, betrayed me, abandoned me, rejected me, I can’t expect otherwise. In the midst of this mistrust, I keep my guard up. I don’t show my vulnerability. I choose not to connect with those different from me but to group with like-minded people. The paradox is that vulnerability actually connects us, humanizes us. We need to change the paradigm that the intellect is what makes us strong. True strength doesn’t come from our physical bodies and brains, which inevitably deteriorate, but from experiences and feelings that eventually make us capable of empathy and prompt our indignation about social injustice or ignorance and ambition. We all have a soft side, and that’s just fine. We are yin; we are yang.


[1] The LSE US Centre’s daily blog on American Politics and Policy (online).

Disconnected from our bodies

Not only have we progressively disconnected from each other and the planet, we’ve also stopped listening to our bodies. We’ve forgotten how to lead a rhythmic life. We don’t eat when we’re hungry, but when the food is available or when it’s noon. We don’t sleep when tired; that’s what caffeine is for. We turn off symptoms with medication, instead of trying to understand their roots. In addition, we’ve lost body wisdom. Our gardens are more for adornment than for receiving our daily dose of sun or for planting trees that purify our air. Instead of exposing our skin to the sun, which would transform skin tocopherols into vitamin D, we take a supplement. Instead of drinking orange juice, we look for vitamin C capsules. If something upsets our stomach, we just take an antacid or digestive enzyme instead of eliminating from our diets the foods causing problems.

We’ve also stopped trusting the wisdom of the body, no longer listening to its inner healer. We believe that our doctor is the expert in our own body, and we allow specialists to manage our health. I often see patients unable to decide on a course of action because what reason prescribes goes against what their heart, their instinct, or their dream shout. Society (which strongly echoes the parental voices lodged in your mind) sometimes prevents you from seeing the red flags or advising you about what’s best for you. We end up not doing what our hearts and souls really need and want.

I believe three types of disconnection (from the body, from others, and the planet) are interrelated and lead to deficiencies in our ability to nurture ourselves, love our neighbors, and protect and preserve the environment.

Development (a misnomer) has given rise to the adoption of new values, which have a clear detrimental impact on the evolution of the individual and the culture, and are very different from the knowledge of our ancestors, who recognized the need to preserve, honor and care for the planet. But we still call ourselves civilized.

This divorce we have created is based on an illusion. In 1973, in his essay “The Cosmic Connection: An Extraterrestrial Perspective,” the astrophysicist and author of Cosmos, Carl Sagan said, “Our sun is a second- or third-generation star. All the rocky and metallic material we stand on, the iron in our blood, the calcium in our teeth, the carbon in our genes, were produced billions of years ago in the interiors of a red giant star. We are made of star-stuff.”

The still-predominant reductionist paradigm feeds the perception of separation from our surroundings, including other people, and convinces us that we’re merely individual beings, divided, segments. We’ve fooled ourselves into denying we’re all stardust and that what I do to you I’m doing to myself too, that what I do to the planet affects me.

Fortunately, we’re coming to understand that reductionist science, which until recently we thought irrefutable, is questionable and that we’re enrichened by the adoption of more holistic, systemic, and comprehensive perspectives. Holon means complete, total. A multidimensional and holistic perspective of health, disease, education, politics, and our relationships with others and with the world goes beyond what current science could even now explain (measure or corroborate).

Adopting a holistic approach can transform our relationship with our bodies and the environment. If we were more open to ancient cultures, we’d see that Buddhists, Taoists, and Hindus offer us invaluable pearls of wisdom, treasured for generations, and with a universalist perspective. They teach us, for example, that a frugal, moderate discipline and lifestyle, a conscious existence (monitoring our minds), can keep us physically, emotionally and mentally healthy and is good for the planet. The four Buddhism’s components of love are joy, compassion, equanimity, and benevolence, which allow us to connect with others and the environment from a kinder heart.

The Bible also preaches frugality, which some people may interpret as paying less for stuff. The real meaning is having less (only what’s necessary), avoiding waste, and not allowing our happiness to depend on what we own. This is also good for the planet.

In psychology and social sciences, we’re also approaching a more down-to-earth vision of love and relationships, an understanding that individuals can connect with others without exposing themselves to be hurt.

I will be able to take responsibility for my feelings and experience joy in relationships as long as I can fully express my essence and be myself in the presence of another. It makes all the difference in the world if I learn that it’s healthier to choose a companion, friend, neighbor, colleague, or family member who won’t judge me and in front of whom I don’t need to hide my feelings or thoughts or appearance in order to be loved. In other words, if I learn to be with people capable of accepting me as I am, who love me because of who I am. And if I make a mistake and choose a wrong pal, if someone mistreats me and becomes a toxic presence in my life, it’s also important to know that the fairest and healthiest thing to do is to get away.

It might not be necessary to know why or when our instinct and intuition got clouded, or when or why our human relationships became utilitarian, or how we came to have a minimal or neglectful relationship with nature. But it’s crucial to overcome this rift between us and our bodies, between us and our neighbors, between us and our planet. It’s critical to regaining the natural wisdom through which we keep our inner healer attuned.

How could love and solidarity prosper in a competitive and polarized world where it’s become so difficult to bridge the gap between us and those who don’t think, live, feel, or vote like me?



Disconnected…

Walls and borders…

We spend most of our lives disconnected!

As the founding executive and director of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts medical school, Jon Kabat Zinn Ph.D. would probably say:

We are disconnected from our sensations, disconnected from our perceptions, disconnected from our impulses, disconnected from our emotions, disconnected from our thoughts, disconnected from what we say and also disconnected from our bodies.

And this seems to be due to the fact that we are constantly mired in worries, lost in the mind, absorbed in our thoughts, obsessed with the past or the future, immersed in our plans and driven by our desires, confused by our need to have fun and at the expense of our expectations, fears and desires, however unconscious and automatic they may seem.

Disconnected from the planet

The world is becoming increasingly polarized, our awareness of separation grows and the spending habits we have adopted disregard the responsibility we have with caring for the planet. Our fall from paradise –as a metaphor– seems to refer precisely to the beginning of this disconnection from nature that happened when humans transition from hunter-gatherer societies to become shepherds (Abel) and farmers (Cain). With the progress of agriculture, private property, States, armies and a new type of relations between men and women soon appear.

In a world progressively displaced towards urban life[1], we not only have we lost the acuity of our senses but our instinct and intuition. Let’s take the example of a hunter: he has to learn to listen to the animal that stealthily approaches, identifies the marks it has left on the ground, refine his ear to identify where a sound comes from. He needs to be able to see, feel the signs that his prey leaves on the road. In his job as a hunter, the individual needs a type of sight that would allow him to identify a target at a great distance and pursue it with his eyes. This refinement of his intuition, of his senses, of his abilities, makes him a more efficient hunter. We have lost instinct and intuition. The sharpness of our senses has deteriorated. We rely on external gadgets or additaments to make up for the loss of our senses.

Our disconnection from nature in modern life is such that we are unable to anticipate the impact that material “progress” has on our lifestyle, health, others and the planet from which we derive our sustenance. When we eat a hamburger we can’t see the relation between its fat content and the damage that a diet rich in lipids can produce on our immune system, and eventually the arteries, which years later could increase the risk of suffering a heart attack or an embolism. We only perceive the immediate gratification.

The news tells us about global warming, melting glaciers, increasing temperatures of the oceans. In the summer of 2017, the largest iceberg in the world split up from Antarctica and in 2018 the northeastern United States was hit by heavy storms of ice, rain, and snow that apparently originated in the Arctic warming (this year began to melt early, in February). We know that sea levels are rising and the coastal cities in the Gulf of Mexico and the islands north of the Caribbean have been affected by more intense hurricanes and tornadoes than ever. We witness more earthquakes, devastating fires (related to droughts), endangered species, toxic algae blooms, all phenomena of unprecedented intensity[2]. The key question is whether these occurrences are a consequence of human activity or not.

One of many examples we could offer about the disconnection between our lifestyle and the impact we cause on the planet is how comfortable we get to feel with the practice of buying products packed in plastic because (we shrug the shoulders) we can throw the container in recycling bins. But do we question where this waste is going? Much of the plastic that we throw away has to be transported (with a high fuel use) to the recycling centers. But also, the recycling process itself consumes energy or in many cases the plastic ends up being transported throughout the world[3]in huge tankers that leave a trail of lethal oil in the water, to be later deposited in batches on Third World countries fields[4]. And, what will happen to objects made of recyclable material when their use-value ends?

Another example of our disconnection: the Pacific Ocean draws approximately ten metric tons of plastic fragments to the beaches of the Los Angeles, California area. Birds, turtles, seals and other marine animals confuse plastic debris with food (their smell and appearance deceive them) and the animals can die from malnutrition, chemical poisons in the plastic or intestinal obstruction. In some cases, they get stuck or entangled in objects such as fishing nets. Can you guess where all that plastic comes from? The lack of regulation of certain industrial processes (production, waste disposal) is also responsible for both pollution and the consequences of the presence of plastic in the environment.

The United Nations has issued a resolution that seeks to eliminate plastic in the oceans in 200 countries, but they estimate that the task will take at least thirty years when it may already be too late (at present, about 115 marine species are affected by plastic debris). Presently, countries like Spain do not know what to do to dispose of the millions of plastic bottles that are thrown away every day. From the moment I write to the moment you’ll read this, it’s very likely the statistics will be worse. However, markets are still filled with plastic containers that we sometimes have no option but to buy and take home (shampoos, alcohol, medicines, all come in plastic bottles).

There is consensus in the scientific community (expressed by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change or IPCC for its acronym in English) that human activity is modifying the atmosphere and affecting the planet. But legislators, the president of the United States, and many media still doubt these conclusions and are even reversing the advances made in the protection of the environment. The interests of large corporations, which are not willing to bear the costs of re-engineering, necessary to prevent future emissions of greenhouse gases, are behind this problem.

The careless appropriation and abuse of resources and mindless consumerism ignores the impact we’re having on the planet. Add the use we make of fossil fuels or the waste that we generate. In the main cities of countries like the United States, up to forty percent of the food that is produced is dumped and as long as the water continues to flow in the tap we will not realize the consequences of the insensible waste of water and wood, resulting from the expanding urban population.

The media also constantly inform us about acts of terrorism, wars, people displaced by violence, refugees, famines, natural calamities, human and drug trafficking, mass dismissals, corporations that sink overnight and others that are they amalgamate to form huge and all-powerful corporations. Symptoms and consequences of our disconnection as humanity.

Next: Disconnected from our bodies

[1] Urban population in 2014 constituted the 54 percent of the global population while in 1960 it was a 34 percent, and it continues to grow.
[2] In just a month (August-September 2017) three hurricanes, Harvey in Texas, Irma in Florida and María in Puerto Rico cause immense damages (calculated in 500 billions of dollars). Damages caused by Maria are considered the worst disaster ever registered in Dominica. At the same time, the very dry summer came with fires that affected 10.000 buildings and houses and 47,000 acres in 2017. New fires are ongoing.
[3] China recently banned the imports of foreign waste (they were recycling but the waste received was not properly sorted out). The U.S., Europe and Japan are having trouble finding an alternative. The European Union is considering a tax on plastics and some countries have started to ban the use of plastic bags, cups, plates, straws, and plastic bottles. To give you an idea of the dimension of the problem: They have estimated that around 4.73 billion plastic cups are thrown away every year only in France.
[4] I hesitate in using the term Third World, which was coined in the fifties and might mean something completely different now. However, I’ll use it to designate the group of countries that are less developed technologically and where the living conditions, health indicators and income of most of the population is the least favorable.

Work hard… on yourself

I was recently teaching a Reiki class to a very nice group of women.

But, before I go on, I should tell you that the most rewarding aspect of my Reiki classes is the interaction, the closeness that happens between all of us. We usually start with an activity that helps create a safe space: one in which there is confidentiality, acceptance, and respect and people take care of their own needs. By the end of a 12-hour class (Reiki I is intensive, I know) most people have opened their hearts and experienced what it is to be supported and connected.

So, this group of women… after each activity, we sit and reflect on the experiences and make space for questions and answers. The subject of becoming Reiki Masters and teachers came up. Someone asked how to replicate, expand, multiply the kind of closeness, intimacy, and support experienced during the day. I said, “What you do is you all become Reiki Masters and teachers and pass on this gift of Reiki to other people.” 

I’m not new to the hesitation most people experience about teaching others. We tend to doubt ourselves. Would others listen to us? Do we have the authority to teach others when we still feel “incomplete,” “flawed,” or “in the process of becoming”? And I think the answers are Yes, yes, and yes. We complete ourselves in the interaction with others. We build ideas as we speak and wisdom comes out (Dr. Paul Gilbert defines wisdom as knowledge + insight). We allow others to see our vulnerability and trust them, understanding that our vulnerabilities are the place from which they can empathize with us. We become (whatever we want to become) thanks to the collective wisdom that inspires us, moves our heart, motivates us to move forward, opens our eyes to new experiences.

So, then the group wanted to discuss the Reiki principles a bit further. I have already talked elsewhere about the other Reiki principles: Don’t anger, Don’t worry, Give thanks for your blessings. Another of the five principles is “Working hard on self” and this one brought quite a few questions. No, we don’t want to be hard on ourselves, that’s not the idea.

There is the perfectionist kind of hard, I said. A person who will never feel enough and will judge others by the same measure. And then, there is the honest person kind of hard. I provided a personal example: I hate mediocrity and yet I’ve come to recognize that sometimes I don’t try my best because what I do seems good enough to many.

So, I need to be true to myself. I think it’s easy to fall into what Edward de Bono called the “intelligence trap:” if we’re somewhat smart, we might be tempted to using our quick thinking to defend or postulate ideas (and we might have the ability to do so nicely), rather than further exploring those ideas and subjects until we really acquire a deep knowledge of what we’re talking about. Once I become aware that I’m doing this, I have the obligation to “work hard” on getting out of the above-mentioned intelligence trap, and conscientiously study and keep myself up-to-date on the topics I’ll be teaching, writing, and discussing.

So, the goal of “working hard” is not to be perfect, but to be honest: to be fully aware of our potential, our weaknesses, our flaws, until we get to know who we truly are. And we’re certainly not what we do nor what we achieve nor what we have.

We spoke about two kinds of doing: there is what I do in order to have (possessions, titles, position, recognition) and this kind of doing doesn’t really lead to satisfaction, fulfillment, or joy.  And there is the doing that becomes the expression of my truest being and this doing is pure joy on itself.

The power of meditation

Osho understood freedom and the illusion of freedom very well.

“The freedom from something is not true freedom.
The freedom to do anything you want to do is also not the freedom I am talking about.
My vision of freedom is to be yourself.”

One of my favorite gurus is Osho… a controversial figure. He dared speak his truth. He blurted blistering opinions on almost anything from the medical establishment, to corporations, to schooling, to meditation. He was a witness to the fusing of two worlds, the West and the East, a merging he deemed necessary because he didn’t think the split characterizing the world would help us go forward.

We often call the Western societies, “the free world,” but this is just a sweet chimera. Half of the world has been and continues to be under more or less obvious oppressive regimes. This has been going on for centuries. And the West… well, just look at the media reports on NSA surveillance, the New York Times’ report unveiling the AT&T deal with the US Drug Enforcement Administration, to which it has provided with 26 years of phone call records. Privacy has gone through the drain. And without privacy, can we really talk of freedom?

In Autobiography of a Spiritually Incorrect Mystic, a compilation of nearly 5,000 hours of Osho’s recorded talks, we learn not only about his life but also about the importance he gave to meditation.

Meditation, he said, is the only thing that can give us freedom. It will free us of the mind.

Psychoanalysis and psychosynthesis, he said, work on the mind and make us more conscious of the mind. Instead, meditation makes us observe the mind and to the extent we stop identifying with it, we transcend. Transcendence IS freedom.

Osho encourages dynamic meditation and practicing it alone…if you feel comfortable with it. The group, according to Osho is for people who have grown uncomfortable with their egos. They can “dissolve” into the group and forget about their egos for a while.

Meditation has been transformative for me. It does change the way we experience the world.

Mindfulness counteracts stress

When clients ask about the best ways to achieve relaxation and counteract stress, I have different suggestions to make: for example, they can listen to relaxation CDs. But mindfulness should be the goal.

Meditation of receiving Reiki sessions on a regular basis are of course in the menu of choices I’d offer clients and I may also teach them how to use “progressive relaxation” techniques where they progressively bring the body to a state of generalized muscle tightness to then let go.

In the haste of these days even the best of intentions are in the way of introducing changes in our lives, and we often aim at a quick fix.

Then, the only mantra you’d get to recite is “I have no time,” since you jump from deadline to deadline and between setting new applications on your smartphone, answering voice messages and emails, checking your social media, or downloading movies on the computer… not much time left for self.

I understand it’s unrealistic to ask busy people to take even ten minutes to practice mindfulness, add meditation or progressive relaxation practices, adding to an already crowded agenda. It will only sum up to the overwhelming pile of to-do things.

But… don’t add it, just incorporate it

A rather easy way to manage stress is the way of the observer. The main ingredient in the recipe is awareness: living fully in the present; becoming conscious of our body, our thoughts and our emotions in every minute of our lives. It requires practice to get out of the “automatic pilot” kind of mode, but once you get it, it becomes as easy as turning on a light switch.

Give it a try right now, start with this: instead of moving your eyes toward the end of this page, trying to guess what comes next, read word by word, appreciating the p a u s e s  b e t w e e n   l e t t e r s, the         p a u s e s                between             words, the commas and the colons and the periods. Look at the form of the letters, the ink colorand the background in which these words are printed. Now, become aware of your body, relax your shoulders, observe your breathing (don’t change it). No need to change anything, just witness the inflow and the outflow of the air you’re breathing. Monitor your doing. Be conscious of the surroundings: how loud is your environment; how does the temperature of the air feel on your skin; how comfortable is your body in the position you’re sitting now. Move a little, shift posture; make sure that you’re really comfy.

Now change your standpoint a bit and carefully observe your surroundings. You may immediately notice a shift, your thoughts slowing down… This new perspective would give full body to your experience.

Repeat this exercise every time that you feel engaged in a frantic, anxious pace, or for no reason other than to enjoy relaxation. Maybe set your alarm to remind you to take three minutes every hour for this mindfulness exercise. You’ll notice changes in the quality of your health. You’ll experience a relief in levels of anxiety.

Physiological advantage

You’ll notice that as you pace down your heartbeat and your blood pressure may decrease. The best part of this practice is that on the long run you’ll save time, because awareness lessens the number of mistakes you make and improves your creativity.

When mindfulness helps you slow down, brainwaves change frequency. There are four categories of brainwaves, ranging from the most activity to the least activity. When the brain is aroused, it generates beta waves (low amplitude, fast waves, ranging from 15 to 40 cycles per second).

Then, there are alpha brainwaves (slower, and higher in amplitude ranging from 9 to 14 cycles per second) typical of a person taking a break during intense activity.

Ideas flow easily in a theta brainwave state (greater amplitude and slower frequency, normally between 5 and 8 cycles a second) typical of a person who’s daydreaming or in a state of mental relaxation. And finally, there are the delta brainwaves (of the greatest amplitude and slowest frequency, between 1.5 and 4 cycles per second). These are the predominant brainwaves found in deep meditation and dreamless sleep.

To put it in another way, when you become mindful, your right side of the brain is allowed an opportunity to play its part. Left brain is intellectual, logic, impatient, fast (predominantly beta waves). Right brain is intuitive, symbolic, and creative. Using both hemispheres grants you balance and using your full potential. Working with both hemispheres is like having two instead of one employees working fulltime and on total accord for you.

Beyond the noise and the haste

Sitting in front of a lake makes it easier for me to become the observer

I am a walker in more than one sense… Walking is my favorite form of exercise (after tennis, which at my age gives me more aches and pains than I want). But also in a metaphoric way, I am a walker. A wanderer if you wish, a person who cares more for the journey than for the destination. An explorer, who enjoys contemplating life, and while I walk, I renew my sense of awe, daily.

I try not to let routine devour me. I hurry like most people, and sometimes, I worry, but then I take the time to rest and read my body. Is it tense, is it tired, does it need to eat?

I don’t want to be trapped by the noise and the haste of modern life. And I’m sure you feel the same.

My prescription is Reiki and, of course, a healthy lifestyle.

Reiki is for me an incredible resource. When I’m too tired, I give myself Reiki. When I ache, when something is saddening me, when I just want to experience deep peace, I lay down in my recliner or my bed and use my hands to give me a treatment. I learned Reiki about 26 years ago and it transformed my life. I took my first class out of curiosity and because I had experienced an energy healing in 1993 that had shaken my beliefs (my “certainties”).

As a medical doctor, I had grown skeptical of everything that was not “evidence-based” and still, what more evidence did I want than the feeling that my body was in better shape than ever after a Taoist master gave me an energy-healing session. I quit smoking, I changed my diet, I started to exercise all of a sudden after that hands-on treatment. In the following weeks, my energy was boosted, my health was better than ever. Reiki was just the next step in wanting to understand a new dimension that had opened to me through that healing.

Reiki has given me more than any supplement or vitamin. It keeps me healthy and joyful and connected with everything that exists. It’s through Reiki that I have become more compassionate and peaceful. Reiki is painless, has no side effects, and takes only a few minutes for you to experience its beneficial effects.

Because Reiki has been such a blessing for me, I offer Reiki sessions and Reiki classes besides counseling – Reiki is ideal for self-care.

I give thanks for all of my blessings

To continue with the principles set down by Reiki founder, Mikao Usui, I want to reflect on the benefits of being grateful. Neuroscientists tell us that having a disposition towards gratitude can increase our determination, focus, enthusiasm, and energy.

I have experienced once and again these benefits. Since I have made of Usui’s five principles an important part of my daily life, I look for things to be grateful even in the midst of distressing times. I’ve seen the immediate results of shifting from whining and self-pity to gratitude. It makes you feel fuller, happier. It helps you appreciate life.

But unfortunately we live in a world driven by greed… and not only corporate greed. And greed leaves us feeling unfulfilled, incomplete and unhappy.

Have you tried to sit down and set up your basic, real, needs? If you haven’t, I urge you to make a list of the things that if you go without would make your life really difficult and miserable. My list is really short after food, shelter, and health. Awareness would be one of the things I would not want to relinquish by sure. But see? Awareness is not something that you possess, it’s something that you build with practice.

If you seriously think about it, most of the things we want or think we need are not essential for our well-being. In a consumer’s society, there came a point where corporations needed to create needs in the consumer to keep up the market going. Look at the TV commercials or Hollywood movies trying to buy a lifestyle that would “make you happy.”

So you buy the ipod, the iphone, the ipad, the mac and then you need cords, and covers to protect them and cases to carry them, and then you’re prompted to upgrade every year. And if you finally buy a home, you need to furnish and adorn and clean it with the latest products in the market and then upgrade the appliances every once in a while. It’s a never-ending process that keeps us working to exhaustion, compromising the really essential things like health and family.

If instead of being grateful for what we had, greed takes over (this desire for wealth or possessions) our lives would be marked by constant worry, maybe envy of what others have achieved and competition instead of cooperation.

I have no doubt that at some point in history, when we had exhausted the Earth’s resources in this “having” madness, when we had killed each other for oil (already happening) or water (corporations are already taking over the water resources), there will be a STOP sign that would make us return to a more basic existence.

I truly believe that if we focused more on giving thanks for what we already have than in having some more, we would live happier. This is not wishful thinking. Studies have already shown that feelings of gratitude directly activate the production of the reward neurotransmitter dopamine, which is also the substance that motivates us to do things.

So let’s give thanks for the wonderful day out there and the endless opportunities life gives us to learn.

Just for today, do not worry

JUST FOR TODAY, I DON’T WORRY

It’s a never-ending habit. Starts in the morning and ends before you go to bed. Drives your mood, your relationships, your decisions. I’m talking about the habit to worry. You might already have read “Just for today I do not anger,” referring to the five principles taught by Reiki founder Mikao Usui. “Just for today I do not worry” is one of the five.

But how to stop worrying?

It goes on and on and invades our mind: Will you earn enough to pay for your health care needs when you get old? Will you perform as expected in the new job?
Does he love you as much as you love him?

The list is long and you keep worrying… from being late for an appointment to major decisions in life.

According to the five-element theory of Traditional Chinese Medicine, we are all born with wisdom (and the wisdom resides in our “kidneys”). This wisdom refers not only to the inner capacity of the body to self regulate, repair, regenerate and heal. It also refers to instinct, reflexes and intuition.

The baby knows the caregiver will tend for his/her needs and trusts the world. It’s driven by something that we don’t yet fully understand, to the breast, to suck its nourishment (it’s not just a reflex). The baby cries to signal a need; it cuddles because he or she knows love; it smiles because he or she responds with kindness to our care.

The newborn comes to this world equipped with wisdom, trust, faith, confidence, joy, a sense of integrity and of connection with mom. But as the baby grows up, these feelings and emotions suffer. Life is painful, frustrating… you don’t necessarily get what you ask for. As we experience the world, it is inevitable to experience – to some extent –  betrayal, abandonment and/or rejection. Mild as an experience could in many cases be, it would shape our feelings. We learn anger, resentment, grief, mistrust and fear as the result of hurt and frustration. We may even lose faith in our capacity to master the world and create our own reality.

As fear sets in, wisdom is overshadowed by it and the result is worry. We stop trusting. We no longer experience faith in our connection with the whole.

Fear becomes the enemy. It stops us from loving fully, from enjoying life, from trusting others. Worry is often the sheer expression of our fear.

Faith in the universe, faith in our capacity to create our reality, will lead us to stop worrying. It might sound cliché, but we need to really believe that “everything is going to be alright.” Not necessarily because we will always get the results we want in any given situation but because we will have the necessary wisdom to make the most of it and because, even when we can’t understand it, the results are related to something deeper: our soul purpose.

How can we help our children keep the wisdom intact and avoid the fear?