La Risa: Un juicio juguetón?

La risa, ¿remedio infalible para un mundo de matones?

En este ambiente de separación, confrontación, sectarismo y violencia en que vivimos, florece el matoneo (bullying). Las estadísticas muestran que en los Estados Unidos al menos un 70 por ciento de los niños han presenciado ese tipo de acoso en las escuelas y un 30 por ciento han sido víctimas, un número similar al reportado por el DANE en Colombia. En España el porcentaje es de solo 10 por ciento con variaciones por región. En Noruega se reporta un 13 por ciento. Pero este matoneo no se limita a la escuela. Se presenta en el trabajo, en la familia y últimamente en Internet.

El bullying es un acto de crueldad intencional para dominar a otro. Solo hasta el año 2014 el Centro de control de enfermedades (CDC, por sus siglas en inglés) definió oficialmente el bullying para el propósito de la investigación y el seguimiento de casos. El bullying se caracteriza por una conducta agresiva repetitiva y un desequilibrio de poder. Existe bullying directo e indirecto y se le divide en cuatro categorías: físico, verbal, relacional (como esfuerzos por dañar la reputación o relaciones del otro) y daño a la propiedad de la víctima. Con el mayor uso de los aparatos digitales, el ciberbullying se ha generalizado. Este ofrece la ventaja del anonimato para quien lo inicia y es difícil de detectar por parte de los padres y los maestros.

Las víctimas de bullying consideran el suicidio con una frecuencia de dos a nueve veces mayor que otros niños, según un estudio de la universidad de Yale.

Las consecuencias del bullying pueden ser devastadoras para un joven. En octubre del 2012, Amanda Michelle Todd, una quinceañera canadiense se suicidó después de producir un video donde compartía su desolación como víctima del ciberbullying. Fue un campanazo de alerta para el mundo entero que empezó a poner más atención.

Sin embargo, ¿dónde están los controles, las reformas, las leyes o el debate público sobre el tema? ¿Dónde está la consciencia pública que nos levanta colectivamente contra esta forma de abuso? Aunque somos más conscientes de que el problema existe, aunque se han propuesto soluciones, aunque se han emitido nuevas leyes, aún no se logra cambiar la cultura que favorece estas conductas.

No es un buen precedente que en los Estados Unidos se haya elegido presidente a un candidato que se ha caracterizado por estimular el prejuicio, la discriminación y la violencia durante sus campañas y presidencia con la aquiescencia de los medios de comunicación. Sus bravatas continuan siendo miedosas y frecuentes hasta el punto de queremos evadir las noticias y los análisis políticos de los medios, que nos dejan exhaustos, y preferimos escuchar a los comediantes que hacen circo con este personaje, con la ilusión de estar utilizando una forma menos estresante de enterarnos (pero sin el corazón apretado y los ojos llorosos) del manejo que se da a la problemática nacional e internacional.

El fundador del psicoanálisis, Sigmund Freud, consideraba el chiste una actividad lingüística del inconsciente[1]. El chiste por lo regular convierte a su sujeto en blanco sobre el que liberamos agresividad contenida. No nos digamos mentiras, el chiste, la comedia, constituyen con frecuencia otra herramienta de matoneo y aunque en ocasiones cumplan con la función de denunciar o de liberar tensión, no tienen una finalidad constructiva, no generan cambio. Los comediantes nos hacen reír a costa de aquella persona o tirano a los que se pintan como malos, ridículos o inapropiados. Y nosotros nos reímos en grupo y nos sentimos aliviados y no solo aceptamos este otro tipo de matoneo, sino que lo condonamos ¡incluso cuando se usa como crítica de los métodos de un matón! Algunos comediantes juegan un papel social de denuncia y crítica, pero a la vez corren el peligro de trivializar asuntos muy serios. El público se identifica con el comediante, y la risa permite liberar la tensión de nuestro propio enojo y canalizar agresividad; el chiste tiene pues también una función catártica. Lo triste es cuando la crítica, el juicio, la denuncia que hay detrás de los monólogos del showman, no se transforman en acción en busca de soluciones. Aunque puedan contribuir a crear consciencia, ayudan a perpetuar el statu quo. Alimentan el cinismo y la desesperanza cuando el mundo lo que más necesita es un optimismo (o un posibilismo, como diría la investigadora y autora Francesa Moore Lappé) que conlleve a la certeza de que conocemos las soluciones, de que éstas son posibles y todos podemos contribuir a ponerlas en acción.

Desafortunadamente, este mundo en el que vivimos adopta el bullying a todo nivel como un mecanismo protector, perpetuador de la cultura predominante. Las consecuencias del aislamiento, ridiculización y otras formas de acoso emocional, verbal y físico que caracterizan al llamado bullying, causan sufrimiento a las víctimas. Nada más opuesto a la creación de una cultura solidaria y al florecimiento de la compasión y el amor que una cultura que fomente el odio y el desprecio. La existencia del matoneo desde el nivel de la escuela primaria hasta el del presidente del país que se considera el más poderoso del mundo, son un síntoma de los males que padece la humanidad. Entonces, el bullying se extiende desde el nivel individual hasta las relaciones internacionales y se valida con la, aparentemente inocua, charada. Pero el mal que nos afecta no se va a curar a punta de risa. Un elemento positivo del chiste sería su potencial para generar vergüenza y cambiar el comportamiento, pero esto solo sucede en una persona que tenga consciencia de sí. Por otra parte, vale la pena preguntarse si en la medida en que los procederes que antes generaban vergüenza se vuelven comunes y aceptables y hasta graciosos (el comportamiento de un borracho en público, por ejemplo, o incluso la interpretación jocosa de una figura como la del presidente de los Estados Unidos en shows como Saturday Night Live[2]), esto permite, promueve o incluso incita a la imitación de esas conductas y en vez de tener una función crítica, la burla contribuye a la trivialización de un asunto muy serio.

[1] “El chiste es un juicio juguetón”, decía Ernst Kuno Berthold Fischer, filósofo, historiador y crítico del siglo XIX en quien basó Freud su trabajo de investigación sobre el tema.

[2] El actor Alex Baldwin se ha preguntado acertadamente si su impresión de Donald Trump hizo al presidente simpático para un público que debiera más bien ser crítico de sus acciones.

La razón de nuestro enojo

Dr. Silvia Casabianca

Advertencia: hablo en primera persona.

Parto de la creencia de que cada uno de nosotros es único y que mis experiencias y conclusiones pueden no ser aplicables a los demás. La ventaja de hablar en primera persona es que no me da vergüenza revelar mi sombra. Quizás esto invite a otros, a veces, a juzgarme, y su juicio se basará en el hecho de que, además (o a pesar) de haber obtenido dos doctorados y de haber estudiado materialismo histórico y dialéctico, he practicado y enseñado también filosofías orientales que encuentro fascinantes y holísticas. Entre ellas, dos prácticas de medicina energética: una japonesa, llamada Reiki y otra china, llamada Chi Kung médico. Y he recorrido un camino que se puede llamar espiritual desde que tengo conciencia propia.

Predico que debiéramos amarnos los unos a los otros con la consciencia de que es imposible amar a un opresor y que la opresión es el principal obstáculo para la empatía y la compasión. Escribo sobre un Homo Amandi, un ser ideal hacia el que podemos evolucionar conscientemente, si no destruimos primero el planeta. Pero, entonces, ¿cómo explicar que no he logrado pulir mi lado “feo”?

Siendo humanos, no creo que logremos algún día abstraernos de la sociedad o aniquilar el ego. Ni siquiera creo que debamos deshacernos de él. El llamado ego (el de Freud o el de Lacan o el de uso cotidiano) juega un papel regulador de nuestra dimensión física. Si bien es cierto que nos causa muchos problemas, estamos a salvo cuando logramos habitar también ese aspecto nuestro que a veces conocemos como alma (no una que se salva y se va al cielo o el infierno, sino el alma entendida como ese aspecto luminoso en nosotros que logra sobreponerse a nuestra sombra, a nuestro lado más oscuro), la parte de nosotros que nos permite sentirnos hermanados con otros y responsables tanto de nuestro cuerpo como de un planeta que hemos convertido en basurero.

Consciencia de separación

No sé si puedo adherir a la creencia de que somos seres espirituales viviendo una experiencia humana. Para mí, este sería un postulado lineal. Implicaría aceptar una separación artificial entre aspectos físicos y espirituales de nuestro ser, siendo que ambos son parte de un todo. El problema es esta conciencia de separación y fragmentación que mantenemos. Creemos que o somos luz o somos sombra, que si no eres mi amigo, por fuerza has de ser mi enemigo, que si estoy en lo correcto, tú estás equivocado. Pero, ¿qué tal mirar al mundo desde una perspectiva dialéctica?

Otros lo han intentado y no voy a citar a Hegel o a Marx, sino a un escritor: Khalil Gibran y su obra maestra, El Profeta, o a un prolífico poeta: Rabindranath Tagore, porque ambos entendieron nuestra dualidad, la dialéctica de la vida que explica la alegría como un aspecto de la tristeza, por ejemplo. Ambos se sentaron con adultos y jóvenes, con personas de diversas procedencias y creencias, de desigual educación y riqueza material. Pensaron la fuerza en función de la unión de voluntades, no como una competencia donde siempre hay ganadores y derrotados. Los enemigos de la paz, al fin y al cabo, los enemigos del amor, los enemigos de la prosperidad general, son, al final, solo un puñado de poderosos que aniquilan física, emocional y mentalmente a las grandes mayorías.

También tengo problemas creyendo que estamos en este mundo para aprender y evolucionar… Si somos parte del todo, eso que suele llamarse alma ya lo tiene todo, lo sabe todo. Y me gusta pensar que la materia de la que está hecho el universo es el amor como un algo que aglutina, une, crece, y que nuestra existencia es una embarcada en una aventura fantástica. Sí, ¿por qué no? Habitar un cuerpo puede ser parte de una aventura, que, para esa parte del ser que aún no hemos desentrañado, no está hecha de materia mensurable (la conciencia) y que sería imposible experimentar si no fuera por su aspecto físico.

Esa aventura nos hace cada vez más conscientes de nuestra totalidad.

Una cuestión de poder

Cuando leí a Richard Bach por primera vez, no buscaba una respuesta, pero su explicación de por qué nos enojamos me tocó una fibra sensible. ¿Podrá ser? Siempre existe, decía, una cuestión de poder detrás de nuestro enojo. Por muchos años, puse a prueba esa hipótesis y, al menos para mí, funcionaba como explicación, así que la compartí con otros. Me fui dando cuenta de que, cuando me enojaba con, por ejemplo, esa persona que no brindaba un buen servicio al cliente por teléfono, mi enojo respondía a un sentimiento de “¿quién se cree que soy? ¿No puede darse cuenta de que no soy una tonta? ¿Por qué me habla como si yo no supiera nada del tema que le estoy consultando?”

Pero, ¿y los asuntos familiares? ¿Por qué nos enojamos con las personas que amamos? ¿Realmente nos involucramos en luchas de poder con ellas? A veces, la respuesta parecía ser un sí rotundo, así que adopté esa respuesta sin cuestionarla.

Más tarde, los escritos de Don Miguel Ruiz me ofrecieron otra perla de sabiduría. Nos enojamos, le oí decir en una presentación en el sur de Florida, porque nos lo tomamos como algo personal, como un ataque. ¿No es así? ¡Quizás!

Allí estaba yo, probando la nueva hipótesis, combinándola con la anterior, tratando activamente de saber la verdad. Sin embargo, solo recientemente caí en la cuenta de que el enojo debe estar relacionado con el amor o la falta de él.

Comencé a notar que el enojo podía estar relacionado con que el otro no me apreciaba y lo contrario del aprecio es… el menos-precio. El enojo estaba relacionado con lo que consideramos nuestra valía.

Y había algo más: mi reacción a la falta de amabilidad del otro me alertó sobre el hecho de que necesitaba sentirme amada y, cuando alguien era injusto, odioso, indiferente o prepotente conmigo, no me sentía apreciada. Ello me desequilibraba.

Pero, ¿de dónde proviene esa suposición de que debo ser apreciada?

¿Tiene que ver con problemas no resueltos de mi pasado? O simplemente con que vivimos en un mundo jerarquizado donde nos colocamos permanentemente en escalas: Los inteligentes y los brutos. Los estudiados y los ignorantes. Los ricos y los pobres. Los que tienen poder y los desempoderados.

Y, sin embargo, tengo la percepción de que existe una parte de mí que solo conoce el amor (el amor por el trabajo, por el planeta, por los otros seres, humanos o no, por la ciencia, por el saber, por la poesía). Es mi parte más humana la que conoce algo más. Lo que nos revienta, separa y pone a rivalizar, es el miedo. Una sociedad que hemos construido sobre la base de la codicia de poder y de riqueza.

Sin embargo, la experiencia de la falta de amabilidad también me sirvió de espejo –un descubrimiento más o menos reciente: veo mi propia incapacidad de amar a los demás incondicionalmente, de aceptarlos totalmente como son. Este descubrimiento me entristeció profundamente.

No pierdo la esperanza de que, al tomar conciencia de esto, pueda trabajar en ello de manera efectiva.

Anger, the deadliest sin

By Silvia Casabianca

You may remember. In 2007, we were shocked with the news:

A Southcorean, “Seung-Hui Cho, 23, an English major, killed 32 people and committed suicide at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in the deadliest shooting rampage in modern U.S. history.”

As we were reminded by this deadly event, anger has the power to ruin families and lead humans to committing unthinkable acts.

In the aftermath of killings like this one, full-size WHYs hammer our mind. Seung-Hui Cho killed his mates without a word of warning. He had enough cold blood to leave the campus after killing two, email his videos and come back to continue with the killings on campus. Do we need to ask why? 

It’s easy to excuse ourselves from any responsibility here by saying that this man was sick, that his classmates “innocently” tormented him because of his bizarre behavior and that they could not have anticipated the impact of the bullying on him or that the real origin of his mental health symptoms was in the poisonous effects of chemicals from his family’s dry cleaning business.

In a public statement, his sister said that his family, “never could have envisioned that he was capable of so much violence.”

Why not?

How is it possible that not one single person perceived the magnitude of the anger Cho had bottled in, anger which ended in such a fatal episode? Maybe we have learned to view anger as an inevitable part of life, a human “nature” feature, an emotion that does not necessarily need to be overcome, and that many even accept and justify presenting us with the image of a biblical wrathful Jehovah, or of a loving Jesus who was still capable of enough ire to whip merchants out the Temple.

However, we know better. And from this painful lesson and the many more mass killings that have happened since, we may learn that it would do a lot more good to our society if people understood God and Jesus as synonyms of joy and love and compassion.

Why was Cho so lonely that nobody helped him overcome his anger, calm his fears, resolve his hatred? After the killings, it is difficult to say that it was “none of our business.” We won’t be the same after mass murders happen. It is our business.

In addition to the profound compassion that I feel for the families and friends of those sacrificed in mass killings, at the level of my soul I feel also a deep compassion for people like Cho, a person who seemingly lived a tortured life, and I pledge to advocate not only for a zero-tolerance-to-violence society but for a zero-tolerance-to-indifference world.

These events might not be part of our conversations after a few weeks, but they will not easily be forgotten. We might choose to forgive the murderers and question the responsibility of those who couldn’t prevent the tragedy. However, I am aware that nothing positive would come from hating a murderer or just pointing fingers.

Of course, the above are not the only questions that came to mind.

If, from a spiritual standpoint, we are all one, what is our responsibility in this situation, as a society?  “We fell down with everyone in that classroom,” a blogger said referring to the victims of the VA killings, and I share the feeling. Let the questioning that seek explanation to delayed warnings and delayed response to the threats be.

I comfort myself after such sad days thinking that after a terrible act of violence like this strikes our hearts, it, extraordinarily enough, also opens the gates to appreciating life in its fullest (imagine what those who were spared feel now!), to reflecting on contributing to building a compassionate society, of learning and teaching socioemotional skills at home and in schools.

Let’s take a moment each day to express our love to our fellow humans who are mourning dear ones after these tragedies occur, including the family of the gunmen. And then, take another moment to feel our responsibility to promote a world where we truly support each other.

Spiritual seeking or fashionable Secret

By Silvia Casabianca

You complain: “Life is difficult, unfair and lonely. My efforts are seldom acknowledged or rewarded. I don’t have the family, job, house, car or friends that I deserve. Not only life is not as it should be, but I cannot change the world to my convenience. Or, can I?” But then came The Secret (the movie, the CD, the book).

“Oh, you certainly can, because you create the world you live in with your thoughts, your words and your actions,” the masters say. “Just learn the principles of the ‘Law of Attraction’ and all you desire will be manifested. If it doesn’t work, just review if you are using the principles properly: find out what you’re doing wrong.”

“This is The Secret to everything – the secret to unlimited joy, health, money, relationships, love, youth: everything you have ever wanted,” read the promise delivered on The Secret’s first official web page. A misnomer by now, The Secret carries a message that caught the attention of the world in a way that perhaps none of the former publications on spirituality, religion or how to become rich in three seconds have.

So, if you crave an abundant, a worry-free life, and you haven’t seen the movie or bought the book, what are you waiting for? Besides, it’s not the only book on the topic. You can get Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires, by Esther Hicks or The Master Key System, by Charles F. Haanel, to name a few.

In the past 50 years or so, the Americas, from Alaska to La Patagonia, have been flooded with information on spiritual, religious and metaphysical matters. Most of the material presumably comes from the East or from esoteric knowledge that was previously withheld from the public. This knowledge has been marketed through books, CDs, DVDs, movies, social media and charismatic speakers. Shall we hypothesize that spirituality provides more answers than science? Even though science has dug deeper and deeper and to the level of the most minuscule particles life is made of, it would seem that the answers it provides do not suffice. In our quest for meaning, it’s not the amazing biomarkers helping doctors in early detection of cancer, the trip to Mars, or the development of fiber optics, and artificial intelligence, but the feeling that God is reachable what brings hope to people whose lives have been stricken by disease or scarcity.

Back in 2001, the economist Paul Zane Pilzer reported that Americans were spending $200 billion annually on wellness, from fitness clubs to vitamins. Well, in 2022, the industry surpassed the $450 billion mark.

Although wellness and nutritional products have reached a plateau and have faced the threat of limitations brought about by regulation of supplements and vitamins by the FDA, the industry continues to hold the promise of getting to the trillion-dollar mark soon. However, a glance at the incredible success of such movies as What the Bleep do We Know, Conversations with God, How to Know God, and The Secret, is enough to see that spirituality as merchandise nipped at the wellness industry’s heels.

What are these products really selling? Hope? Magic? A power drawn from realizing that one’s life is totally on one’s own hands? The common ingredient is faith. Recently, a Reiki patient reminded me of Friedrich Nietzsche’s definition of faith: “Not wanting to know what is true.”

Indeed, and beware! You can use superficial knowledge of the laws of the universe, or a poorly-understood spiritual principle as a tool to deny your reality. Therein lies the danger of the trivialization of metaphysics, the commercialization of the sacred and the cheapening of spirituality.

How could anyone learn the principles that gurus have mastered in a lifetime of dedication and meditation by watching a movie, listening to a tape or attending a weekend seminar? No Buddhas or Einsteins are born in a snap. Why is the marketing of promises to make over our lives so successful? Is people’s wishful thinking replacing effort and creativity in resolving financial needs, or are we all truly looking for a spiritual life and a re-encounter with a re-defined God that exists within? Is this perhaps a unique rebellion, turning off the current paradigm, whereby only a few deserve abundance and good health?

In Where Are We Going? (ReVision magazine, spring, 2001), Mariana Caplan discussed contemporary spirituality trends: “When mystical experiences become our obsession, and we run from workshop to teacher to fancy esoteric tradition looking for the next high, we have taken a great detour from the needs of our culture – a culture that is obsessed with boldness but devalues subtlety; that is infatuated with excess but scorns simplicity; that honors selfishness while mumbling about service.”

Conscious evolution from fear to solidarity

How do we responde to stress or fear? We have choices but we need to learn how to regulate emotions and become more compassionate.

Dr. Silvia Casabianca argues that humans are hardwired for empathy, love and compassion. These gifts reside in our genes, our physiology, our chemistry, and they can be nurtured and developed. They can be harnessed and used to solve many of the problems we struggle with-from the interpersonal to the geopolitical. Millennia of human experience have led us to this moment when we are perhaps finally ready to embrace, and enact our true, loving nature. The coronavirus pandemic provides us with an opportunity to rethink the way we live, to appreciate what we have instead of craving for what we don’t have. This might be an opportunity to become more aware of how crucial relationships are and that we’re so interconnected that what I do, can affect everybody else. Go to www.SilviaCasabianca.com or buy her book in Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/ydy6eljm

We’re wired for love but humans have created stratified societies that enhance competition over cooperation and having over just being.   The coronavirus pandemic provides us with an opportunity to rethink the way we live, to appreciate what we have instead of craving for what we don’t have. This might be an opportunity to become more aware of how crucial relationships are and that we’re so interconnected that what I do, can affect everybody else.  
We often fail to embrace our common humanity or commit to our common destiny with full responsibility.   It often takes a crisis, an epidemic, a recession, an earthquake, a hurricane, to activate what Shelly Taylor called our tend-and-befriend response.   But if we learn new parenting and education modalities that take into account our human potential for empathy, compassion and solidarity, we will become equipped to solve the most pressing problems humanity and our planet face.

Our foremost asset is that we’re born hardwired for empathy, compassion, and love even if the current state of affairs in the world often seems to contradict this assertion.  

Many of our problems come from the way we learn to respond to fear or perceived threats in the environment without consciously assessing them first. In other words, we have not learned to regulate emotions, we respond automatically. This is mostly because our educational and parenting models are centered on modifying children’s behavior instead of promoting autonomy, self-compassion, and empathy.

In the times of Coronavirus: What we need to learn

What do we need to learn from this coronavirus pandemic?

Mom and daughter visiting through the window in the times of Covid-19
Lori Spencer visits her mom Judie Shape, 81, who Spencer says has tested positive for coronavirus, at Life Care Center of Kirkland, the Seattle-area nursing home at the epicenter of one of the biggest coronavirus outbreaks in the United States, in Kirkland, Washington, U.S. March 11, 2020. REUTERS/Jason Redmond – RC2HKF9TE1XS

In my former post about the Coronavirus pandemic, I opened up about the different reactions I had when it became evident we could not escape the impact of the Covid-19. When pandemics happen, we experience the exact same reactions we have when experiencing losses or when we have been victims of a catastrophe. We go through the stages of grief:

Denial versions:

  • It’s a hoax or a false alarm.
  • I’m safe, this is happening far away. I won’t be affected
  • I’m healthy, no virus will make me sick
  • This is only affecting “Other” people.

Anger versions:

  • I found who’s guilty – I assign blame on others
  • I spread conspiracy theories
  • I just feel irritable at the whole situation and the limitations it brought to me

Negotiation versions

  • If I pray (meditate, practice yoga or Qigong) I’ll be okay
  • I’ll eat better to improve my immune system
  • I’ll change my lifestyle to be healthier and protected from the virus
  • I understand we’re part of the problem, we need to do something, we need to change the world

Depression

  • I should not have…
  • I regret…
  • Isolation hits hard, I see how much I need my…
  • I sleep all the time, have no drive for anything, what’s the point anyhow.

Acceptance

  • This is what it is
  • I take responsibility for my part
  • I learn from this experience and make some changes
  • I prepare myself for what’s coming

It’s really sad that what is required of us is to “keep social distance” precisely in times in which we have disconnected so much from each other. I see a slight change in the quality of the messages I receive from friends and acquaintances. An increased, personal, concern for one another. But if individualism is one of the main features of these times, the pandemic can make it worse. We might become more suspicious of others than ever.

Ideally, we can use this pandemic to reflect on the quality of our lives and the relationships we have. Maybe we can stop competing, trying to be the one with the most brilliant idea to see how to build new ideas and solutions conjointly. Maybe now we will see how everything is so interconnected that it’s difficult to function as a society without the contribution of each individual. Maybe we’ll start valuing each individual’s contribution. Maybe…

May you be well

EVOLVING in times of the Coronavirus pandemic

Coronavirus pandemic tests the capacity of the world leaders to manage a crisis.

© FT montage; AFP/Getty Images

“We have to change our everyday lives — not gradually, but right now,” German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier said. Germany has shown an exemplary management of the Coronavirus pandemic.

I honestly feel unqualified to talk about compassion during this Coronavirus pandemic. My perspective about the illness, the role leaders play in a world emergency, has changed since we first learned about the Coronavirus.

I have been upset, worried, uncomfortable, a loud critic during the month or so since we started to realize that we were not safe from the spread of this virus. Many things have crossed my mind. For example, I have thoughts of nature taking revenge on us for the little care with which we treat it. It’s decimating the population of the most destructive creature that has ever inhabited Earth, I thought.

Then I found myself inclined to believe some of the conspiracy theories. We’ve gotten so mistrustful of “leaders” driven by greed, that it was difficult not to start looking around to see who is benefiting from the epidemic so that we can place blame on someone, or something.

I was troubled by some people’s carelessness also. But I was myself being careless. I thought I was healthy, had no symptoms, and could wander around with little risk. Then I read about the healthcare practitioners begging us to help them “flatten the curve.” I realized our carelessness could contribute to unconsciously made the epidemic worst.

And, of course, I blamed the ineptitude of the president of this proud country. It hit me that there are so many people who do not believe in science, who render the US weak in front of the epidemic and who would say anything, no matter how inaccurate or false, to blame an opponent, to capitalize the moment politically.

However, the most striking realization was to remember that I used to believe in the mighty power of the US. This country is no longer the vanguard, it does not make alliances with other countries, and pride has consumed the nation and its leaders into odious selfishness that, in the case or coronavirus, can prove deadly. The US administration no longer works side to side with world organizations like the World Health Organization to coordinate efforts to alleviate the burden of this health event. Nationalism in the times of globalization proves its weakness and its wickedness. People and countries cannot be global to profit, and then not global when compassion and solidarity are needed.

Disconnected from our bodies

Not only have we progressively disconnected from each other and the planet, we’ve also stopped listening to our bodies. We’ve forgotten how to lead a rhythmic life. We don’t eat when we’re hungry, but when the food is available or when it’s noon. We don’t sleep when tired; that’s what caffeine is for. We turn off symptoms with medication, instead of trying to understand their roots. In addition, we’ve lost body wisdom. Our gardens are more for adornment than for receiving our daily dose of sun or for planting trees that purify our air. Instead of exposing our skin to the sun, which would transform skin tocopherols into vitamin D, we take a supplement. Instead of drinking orange juice, we look for vitamin C capsules. If something upsets our stomach, we just take an antacid or digestive enzyme instead of eliminating from our diets the foods causing problems.

We’ve also stopped trusting the wisdom of the body, no longer listening to its inner healer. We believe that our doctor is the expert in our own body, and we allow specialists to manage our health. I often see patients unable to decide on a course of action because what reason prescribes goes against what their heart, their instinct, or their dream shout. Society (which strongly echoes the parental voices lodged in your mind) sometimes prevents you from seeing the red flags or advising you about what’s best for you. We end up not doing what our hearts and souls really need and want.

I believe three types of disconnection (from the body, from others, and the planet) are interrelated and lead to deficiencies in our ability to nurture ourselves, love our neighbors, and protect and preserve the environment.

Development (a misnomer) has given rise to the adoption of new values, which have a clear detrimental impact on the evolution of the individual and the culture, and are very different from the knowledge of our ancestors, who recognized the need to preserve, honor and care for the planet. But we still call ourselves civilized.

This divorce we have created is based on an illusion. In 1973, in his essay “The Cosmic Connection: An Extraterrestrial Perspective,” the astrophysicist and author of Cosmos, Carl Sagan said, “Our sun is a second- or third-generation star. All the rocky and metallic material we stand on, the iron in our blood, the calcium in our teeth, the carbon in our genes, were produced billions of years ago in the interiors of a red giant star. We are made of star-stuff.”

The still-predominant reductionist paradigm feeds the perception of separation from our surroundings, including other people, and convinces us that we’re merely individual beings, divided, segments. We’ve fooled ourselves into denying we’re all stardust and that what I do to you I’m doing to myself too, that what I do to the planet affects me.

Fortunately, we’re coming to understand that reductionist science, which until recently we thought irrefutable, is questionable and that we’re enrichened by the adoption of more holistic, systemic, and comprehensive perspectives. Holon means complete, total. A multidimensional and holistic perspective of health, disease, education, politics, and our relationships with others and with the world goes beyond what current science could even now explain (measure or corroborate).

Adopting a holistic approach can transform our relationship with our bodies and the environment. If we were more open to ancient cultures, we’d see that Buddhists, Taoists, and Hindus offer us invaluable pearls of wisdom, treasured for generations, and with a universalist perspective. They teach us, for example, that a frugal, moderate discipline and lifestyle, a conscious existence (monitoring our minds), can keep us physically, emotionally and mentally healthy and is good for the planet. The four Buddhism’s components of love are joy, compassion, equanimity, and benevolence, which allow us to connect with others and the environment from a kinder heart.

The Bible also preaches frugality, which some people may interpret as paying less for stuff. The real meaning is having less (only what’s necessary), avoiding waste, and not allowing our happiness to depend on what we own. This is also good for the planet.

In psychology and social sciences, we’re also approaching a more down-to-earth vision of love and relationships, an understanding that individuals can connect with others without exposing themselves to be hurt.

I will be able to take responsibility for my feelings and experience joy in relationships as long as I can fully express my essence and be myself in the presence of another. It makes all the difference in the world if I learn that it’s healthier to choose a companion, friend, neighbor, colleague, or family member who won’t judge me and in front of whom I don’t need to hide my feelings or thoughts or appearance in order to be loved. In other words, if I learn to be with people capable of accepting me as I am, who love me because of who I am. And if I make a mistake and choose a wrong pal, if someone mistreats me and becomes a toxic presence in my life, it’s also important to know that the fairest and healthiest thing to do is to get away.

It might not be necessary to know why or when our instinct and intuition got clouded, or when or why our human relationships became utilitarian, or how we came to have a minimal or neglectful relationship with nature. But it’s crucial to overcome this rift between us and our bodies, between us and our neighbors, between us and our planet. It’s critical to regaining the natural wisdom through which we keep our inner healer attuned.

How could love and solidarity prosper in a competitive and polarized world where it’s become so difficult to bridge the gap between us and those who don’t think, live, feel, or vote like me?



Disconnected…

Walls and borders…

We spend most of our lives disconnected!

As the founding executive and director of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts medical school, Jon Kabat Zinn Ph.D. would probably say:

We are disconnected from our sensations, disconnected from our perceptions, disconnected from our impulses, disconnected from our emotions, disconnected from our thoughts, disconnected from what we say and also disconnected from our bodies.

And this seems to be due to the fact that we are constantly mired in worries, lost in the mind, absorbed in our thoughts, obsessed with the past or the future, immersed in our plans and driven by our desires, confused by our need to have fun and at the expense of our expectations, fears and desires, however unconscious and automatic they may seem.

Disconnected from the planet

The world is becoming increasingly polarized, our awareness of separation grows and the spending habits we have adopted disregard the responsibility we have with caring for the planet. Our fall from paradise –as a metaphor– seems to refer precisely to the beginning of this disconnection from nature that happened when humans transition from hunter-gatherer societies to become shepherds (Abel) and farmers (Cain). With the progress of agriculture, private property, States, armies and a new type of relations between men and women soon appear.

In a world progressively displaced towards urban life[1], we not only have we lost the acuity of our senses but our instinct and intuition. Let’s take the example of a hunter: he has to learn to listen to the animal that stealthily approaches, identifies the marks it has left on the ground, refine his ear to identify where a sound comes from. He needs to be able to see, feel the signs that his prey leaves on the road. In his job as a hunter, the individual needs a type of sight that would allow him to identify a target at a great distance and pursue it with his eyes. This refinement of his intuition, of his senses, of his abilities, makes him a more efficient hunter. We have lost instinct and intuition. The sharpness of our senses has deteriorated. We rely on external gadgets or additaments to make up for the loss of our senses.

Our disconnection from nature in modern life is such that we are unable to anticipate the impact that material “progress” has on our lifestyle, health, others and the planet from which we derive our sustenance. When we eat a hamburger we can’t see the relation between its fat content and the damage that a diet rich in lipids can produce on our immune system, and eventually the arteries, which years later could increase the risk of suffering a heart attack or an embolism. We only perceive the immediate gratification.

The news tells us about global warming, melting glaciers, increasing temperatures of the oceans. In the summer of 2017, the largest iceberg in the world split up from Antarctica and in 2018 the northeastern United States was hit by heavy storms of ice, rain, and snow that apparently originated in the Arctic warming (this year began to melt early, in February). We know that sea levels are rising and the coastal cities in the Gulf of Mexico and the islands north of the Caribbean have been affected by more intense hurricanes and tornadoes than ever. We witness more earthquakes, devastating fires (related to droughts), endangered species, toxic algae blooms, all phenomena of unprecedented intensity[2]. The key question is whether these occurrences are a consequence of human activity or not.

One of many examples we could offer about the disconnection between our lifestyle and the impact we cause on the planet is how comfortable we get to feel with the practice of buying products packed in plastic because (we shrug the shoulders) we can throw the container in recycling bins. But do we question where this waste is going? Much of the plastic that we throw away has to be transported (with a high fuel use) to the recycling centers. But also, the recycling process itself consumes energy or in many cases the plastic ends up being transported throughout the world[3]in huge tankers that leave a trail of lethal oil in the water, to be later deposited in batches on Third World countries fields[4]. And, what will happen to objects made of recyclable material when their use-value ends?

Another example of our disconnection: the Pacific Ocean draws approximately ten metric tons of plastic fragments to the beaches of the Los Angeles, California area. Birds, turtles, seals and other marine animals confuse plastic debris with food (their smell and appearance deceive them) and the animals can die from malnutrition, chemical poisons in the plastic or intestinal obstruction. In some cases, they get stuck or entangled in objects such as fishing nets. Can you guess where all that plastic comes from? The lack of regulation of certain industrial processes (production, waste disposal) is also responsible for both pollution and the consequences of the presence of plastic in the environment.

The United Nations has issued a resolution that seeks to eliminate plastic in the oceans in 200 countries, but they estimate that the task will take at least thirty years when it may already be too late (at present, about 115 marine species are affected by plastic debris). Presently, countries like Spain do not know what to do to dispose of the millions of plastic bottles that are thrown away every day. From the moment I write to the moment you’ll read this, it’s very likely the statistics will be worse. However, markets are still filled with plastic containers that we sometimes have no option but to buy and take home (shampoos, alcohol, medicines, all come in plastic bottles).

There is consensus in the scientific community (expressed by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change or IPCC for its acronym in English) that human activity is modifying the atmosphere and affecting the planet. But legislators, the president of the United States, and many media still doubt these conclusions and are even reversing the advances made in the protection of the environment. The interests of large corporations, which are not willing to bear the costs of re-engineering, necessary to prevent future emissions of greenhouse gases, are behind this problem.

The careless appropriation and abuse of resources and mindless consumerism ignores the impact we’re having on the planet. Add the use we make of fossil fuels or the waste that we generate. In the main cities of countries like the United States, up to forty percent of the food that is produced is dumped and as long as the water continues to flow in the tap we will not realize the consequences of the insensible waste of water and wood, resulting from the expanding urban population.

The media also constantly inform us about acts of terrorism, wars, people displaced by violence, refugees, famines, natural calamities, human and drug trafficking, mass dismissals, corporations that sink overnight and others that are they amalgamate to form huge and all-powerful corporations. Symptoms and consequences of our disconnection as humanity.

Next: Disconnected from our bodies

[1] Urban population in 2014 constituted the 54 percent of the global population while in 1960 it was a 34 percent, and it continues to grow.
[2] In just a month (August-September 2017) three hurricanes, Harvey in Texas, Irma in Florida and María in Puerto Rico cause immense damages (calculated in 500 billions of dollars). Damages caused by Maria are considered the worst disaster ever registered in Dominica. At the same time, the very dry summer came with fires that affected 10.000 buildings and houses and 47,000 acres in 2017. New fires are ongoing.
[3] China recently banned the imports of foreign waste (they were recycling but the waste received was not properly sorted out). The U.S., Europe and Japan are having trouble finding an alternative. The European Union is considering a tax on plastics and some countries have started to ban the use of plastic bags, cups, plates, straws, and plastic bottles. To give you an idea of the dimension of the problem: They have estimated that around 4.73 billion plastic cups are thrown away every year only in France.
[4] I hesitate in using the term Third World, which was coined in the fifties and might mean something completely different now. However, I’ll use it to designate the group of countries that are less developed technologically and where the living conditions, health indicators and income of most of the population is the least favorable.

Beyond the noise and the haste

Sitting in front of a lake makes it easier for me to become the observer

I am a walker in more than one sense… Walking is my favorite form of exercise (after tennis, which at my age gives me more aches and pains than I want). But also in a metaphoric way, I am a walker. A wanderer if you wish, a person who cares more for the journey than for the destination. An explorer, who enjoys contemplating life, and while I walk, I renew my sense of awe, daily.

I try not to let routine devour me. I hurry like most people, and sometimes, I worry, but then I take the time to rest and read my body. Is it tense, is it tired, does it need to eat?

I don’t want to be trapped by the noise and the haste of modern life. And I’m sure you feel the same.

My prescription is Reiki and, of course, a healthy lifestyle.

Reiki is for me an incredible resource. When I’m too tired, I give myself Reiki. When I ache, when something is saddening me, when I just want to experience deep peace, I lay down in my recliner or my bed and use my hands to give me a treatment. I learned Reiki about 26 years ago and it transformed my life. I took my first class out of curiosity and because I had experienced an energy healing in 1993 that had shaken my beliefs (my “certainties”).

As a medical doctor, I had grown skeptical of everything that was not “evidence-based” and still, what more evidence did I want than the feeling that my body was in better shape than ever after a Taoist master gave me an energy-healing session. I quit smoking, I changed my diet, I started to exercise all of a sudden after that hands-on treatment. In the following weeks, my energy was boosted, my health was better than ever. Reiki was just the next step in wanting to understand a new dimension that had opened to me through that healing.

Reiki has given me more than any supplement or vitamin. It keeps me healthy and joyful and connected with everything that exists. It’s through Reiki that I have become more compassionate and peaceful. Reiki is painless, has no side effects, and takes only a few minutes for you to experience its beneficial effects.

Because Reiki has been such a blessing for me, I offer Reiki sessions and Reiki classes besides counseling – Reiki is ideal for self-care.